When Someone You Love is Grieving.

Gifting a Memorial Piece

Sometimes someone you love is grieving, and you want to do something that feels truly meaningful – but you’re not sure what to say, or whether a memorial piece is the right thing to offer.

This page is for you if:

You’re supporting someone after the loss of a person, baby, or pet
You’ve seen memorial jewellery and thought, “I think they’d love that… but I don’t want to upset them”
You’d like to gift something meaningful, but you’re worried about saying the wrong thing

My name is Kathy, and I create memorial jewellery and keepsakes from my home studio in Bayles, Victoria. My work is shaped by my own experience of loss, and I take great care with both the pieces and the people behind them.

Is this the right kind of gift?

Memorial jewellery can be very comforting for some people, and not right at all for others. Both are completely okay.

It might be a good idea if:

They’ve mentioned wanting “something to hold onto” or “something I can wear”
They’ve shown interest in memorial jewellery, keepsakes, or similar items
They like wearing jewellery or meaningful pieces already
They’ve talked about wanting to do something special with ashes, hair, fur, or breastmilk

It may not be the right time if:

The loss is extremely recent and they’re struggling to get through each day
They’ve said they don’t want to think about ashes, keepsakes, or jewellery right now
Their beliefs or culture make this kind of item feel uncomfortable or inappropriate
You’re unsure and they’re not someone you’re very close to

If you’re not sure, you can always offer the idea of a memorial piece, with no pressure to decide.

Different ways to give this gift

You don’t have to choose a design or send inclusions straight away. There are a few ways to approach it, depending on your relationship and what feels safest.

Option 1: Offer the idea in a card or message

You can simply let them know you’d like to gift this one day, if and when it feels right for them.

Example wording:

“I’ve been thinking about [name] and about you. If, one day, you’d like a piece of jewellery in their memory, I would love to gift that to you. There’s absolutely no rush, and if it doesn’t feel right, that’s completely okay too.”

This keeps the door open, without asking them to make a decision now.

Option 2: A promise or gift voucher

You can give a “promise” rather than a finished piece:

A handwritten note or card
A simple voucher or gift certificate (you can create your own, or I can help with wording)

Example wording:

“This card is a promise. When you feel ready, I’d like to gift you a memorial ring/pendant/keepsake from Harris Wood Creative Studio, in honour of [name]. You can choose the design and the timing. There’s no expiry and no pressure.”

This works well if you want them to have something to hold onto now, but you know they may need time before making choices.

Option 3: Choosing a design together

For very close relationships, you might look at designs together when they’re ready.

You might say:

“When you feel up to it, we could sit down together and look at some memorial pieces from a local maker I trust. If it feels too much, we don’t have to do it at all.”

If they show interest, you can browse my designs together and contact me with any questions. If they say no, you simply honour that answer.

Helpful phrases you can use

Finding the words can be hard. Here are some suggestions you can adapt to your own voice.

For the loss of a baby or pregnancy

“I know there’s nothing I can do to take away this pain, but I’d love to honour your baby with you. If a piece of jewellery in their memory ever feels like something you’d want, I would love to gift that to you.”
“When you’re ready – whether that’s soon or a long time from now – I’d like to help you create something special to remember your little one. There’s no rush at all.”

For the loss of an adult loved one

“I’ve been thinking about [name] and about how much they mean to you. If, one day, a ring or pendant in their memory would feel comforting, I’d love to gift that to you.”
“I found a local maker who creates memorial pieces with a lot of care. If you’d ever like to explore that, I’d be honoured to help you organise it – and if not, that’s completely okay.”

For the loss of a pet

“I know how much [pet’s name] was part of your family. If a small piece of jewellery or a keepsake in their memory would feel special for you, I’d love to gift that when you’re ready.”
“If you’d like, we could create something with a little of [pet’s name]’s fur or ashes – or just a symbolic piece. Only if that feels right for you.”

A few phrases to avoid

Most people mean well, but some phrases can feel pushy or dismissive. It can help to steer away from things like:

“You need to do something with the ashes.”
“This will help you move on.”
“Everyone gets one of these now.”

Instead, focus on:

“If this feels right for you…”
“There’s no rush and no pressure…”
“If it doesn’t feel right, that’s completely okay…”

How the jewellery process works (in simple terms)

If they decide they’d like to go ahead with jewellery, here’s a brief overview of what happens when they order from Harris Wood Creative Studio:

Only a small amount is needed
For ashes, I usually need about a 1/4 of a teaspoon. For hair or fur, just a small lock. For Breastmilk or Colostrum I only need 5mls - 10 if possible but not essential.
Everything is handled with care and respect
I use gloves, label everything clearly with the name and order details, and keep inclusions stored safely and separately.
Leftover inclusions
I use only what is needed. Any remaining ashes, hair, fur are either returned or used for an additional small keepsake, depending on what the person prefers. If I create preserved Breastmilk powder, I keep the remaining in safe storage in case more is need to create something else down the track.
Timeframes
Most pieces take around 8 weeks from the time I receive the inclusions. If they need more time before sending them, that’s completely fine – they can order now and send inclusions later.
If ashes don’t feel right
I can also work with hair, fur, breastmilk, sand, dirt, fabric & am open to new suggestions, or I can create a symbolic piece without inclusions at all. The most important thing is that it feels right for the person who will wear it.

Books and keepsake gifts as alternatives or first steps

Sometimes jewellery feels like too big a step right now, or the person you’re supporting might prefer something they don’t have to wear.

What to do next

If you’d like to explore gifting something from my studio:

Have a conversation first (if you can)
Use one of the phrases above, or your own words, to check whether a memorial piece or keepsake feels like something they might want – now or later.
Decide what feels right for this moment
- A card or message offering the idea of a memorial piece
- A promise or voucher for jewellery when they’re ready
- A book or small keepsake gift they can have now
- A combination: a book or keepsake now, with a promise of jewellery later
Browse designs and gifts
- Memorial jewellery: [link to memorial jewellery collection]
- Books and keepsakes: [link to books & gifts collections]
Contact me if you’re unsure
If you’re not sure what would be most suitable, you’re welcome to send me a message with a little bit about the person you’re supporting and who they’ve lost (as much or as little as you feel comfortable sharing). I can suggest a few options and you can decide from there, with no obligation.

A final note from me

Gifting anything after a loss – whether it’s jewellery, a book, or a small keepsake – is a very personal gesture. It’s okay to feel unsure or worried about “getting it wrong.”

My aim is to support both you and the person you love, with care, honesty, and respect. If this feels like the right path, I’m here to help. If it doesn’t, that’s okay too – just being there for them matters more than anything you could buy.

Kathy x