How many of you are experiencing sadness in the lead up to Christmas - many I know. I do, for a number of reasons, but mainly because my son is no longer with us to share the fun with us, plus my eldest daughter lives in Perth with her little family and my youngest works most of Christmas Day in hospitality.

On the good side we have the excitement from our 8yo granddaughter who we are raising - so it's hard to stay in that state of disliking Christmas. When I look back on some of our handmade decorations that include my son, it always gives me a surge of heartbreak, but I know I have to focus on the living and he would want me to, especially to celebrate with happiness for his children and his 3 siblings and of course even for us.

I have so many wonderful and funny memories of all my children together around Christmas Day and of course so many triggers. One of the best ones is where we made a fun photo shoot on one Christmas Day and I came across them last night and those photos bring a smile to my face every time I look at them.  So that I am grateful for - but still sad.

This year I am excited about something - I am so grateful my grandson (half sib to our granddaughter) and his family (yes we are so blessed his mum is a beautiful person as is his step dad, and they accept us as part of their family) are spending the day here after their morning at home.

I hope to have a relaxed late lunch with some of those fun, silly games you see on social media to create more funny and love filled memories.

Whether it’s your first Christmas after loss or your 20th, I understand how difficult it can be, but try to focus on them wanting you to be happy for any young people in your life who still love the magic of Christmas, and create more memories for them and you, that you will cherish - even if it's in future.

Don’t be afraid to speak of them when you remember something about them, especially the funny memories, and keep their memories alive for everyone who loves them. I truly believe they will be with us and laugh with us - especially those embarrassingly funny stories about them.

Maybe you may even like to put out a photo of them on the table so they are with you in another way for your meal. I remember I did this one year when I was much younger and we had family members overseas and I felt so strange not having them there, so why not do it for those who have passed.

If you need to chat with someone - even me - please reach out.  I get it - I understand and so many others do.  

Kathy x

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